how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
