life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
