i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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