am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
