I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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