Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
