Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
