Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
