well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
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he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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