I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
