i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Dicks are not precious.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
