I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
