summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
