better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
