SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
