Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
