you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
