Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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