Kareoke will never be a sober sport
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
