Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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