i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
