5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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