I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
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