Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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