I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize