Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
