Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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