OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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