Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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