Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
