The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize