I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
