We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Randomize
