I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
