where am i from again
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
