Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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