5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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