He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
