So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize