I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
