Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
