Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
