she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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