You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
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Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
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I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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