Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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