I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
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both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
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screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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