Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
