why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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