i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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