I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
