Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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