Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
