so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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