I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
