the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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