So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
