we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
