i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
