TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
