I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
so much tequila, so little girl.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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