well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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