today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
