She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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