There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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